Helloooo. It’s been a while since I write. It’s not like a lot has happened. Hahaha.
So, in my adventure in finding new friends, I’ve finally downloaded Bumble BFF and met some new girlfriends. I find it interesting and also I think making new friends is like finding a partner. You won’t vibe with every one of the people you meet, and it’s okay.
After I interacted with people in the app, I get the feeling that maybe there are people who initially sign up to find friends coz they’re lonely and genuinely wanted to make new friends. But probably along the way the feeling faded and they’re back to their normal day-to-day life and not so much wanting to find new friends. Because there are people who matched with me and the conversation died after two exchanges.
I met one of the girls and she shared a story about her experience meeting a shifu in Chinatown. And this shifu is quite legit too. While listening to her I got goosebumps for real and after some consideration, I decided to see the shifu. I got the slot on April 13, 4PM. That’s three months from now!
I really feel the urge to try this otherworldly input because last week i think, I felt weird, I felt gloomy, dark and heavy on my heart. It’s not something that can be fixed by talking to a psychologist. Because I felt like something is blocked in me, I felt like I was unable to think creatively, I felt like I keep going in circle, stuck in the same loop. Then I thought that there must be something that I cannot see or understand that is affecting me.
I looked for aura healing, chakra healing, meditation even though I have this fear of brushing with the spiritual world. But to think about it, we’re actually spiritual beings having human experiences right? So why not open up some space to learn more about it, to know more about it. I’m not talking about sorcery or black magic.
I’m interested in meditation, spiritualism, finding meaning and really seeing what’s important in life, how to be content, and being at peace with myself despite my current situations.
I feel like I have a change of perspective in terms of how I view materialistic things like branded bags, outfits, fame. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against having money, it’s about how I value those things.
I see in the society it’s all about the grind, I see people seeking validation externally from materialistic things, what they’re wearing, what car are they driving, putting brands all over their body. When I come to think of it, a bag is just a bag, it deteriorates. Who decided the valuation of that? Probably people who gets involved in the business. And what’s the purpose of a business? Profit. Yes. So I feel like people will say anything about something to make it look so valuable that people who have it are people of certain social status.
Sometimes I’m questioning myself if I’m living inside my head. That I’m dreaming, I’m a dreamer. That if I talk about this with other people they would tell me to snap out of it. But hey, there are people who can talk to spirit and that’s their reality. And just because I have this way of thinking doesn’t mean I’m a dreamer. And anyway reality is not all rainbows and butterflies so I’m okay being a dreamer.
At some point I feel like my believe that has been ingrained in my brain since I was a kid kind of holding me back in some ways. Like, don’t venture into spirituality because that’s the devil trying to lure you. That science and religion won’t meet. But I have always been fascinated and interested with ancient civilization, and all those ancient artifacts, ancient drawings, ancient symbols. How ancient civilizations thousands of miles apart can seemingly have a similar foundation, similar gods.
And to think that how many things that you actually don’t know, aside from how to climb the corporate ladder, how to pay tax, everything else outside all of those man-made systems. I believe that ancient civilizations are more advanced, in a way that they know their way around nature, how they can built those ancient cities in places that are hard to reach, with materials that are to big to even carry even with modern technology. How they can navigate the stars, how the tribes in Amazon jungle knows about which plant is medicinal and how to mix different plants for certain purposes. And they’ve no chemical lab to test the chemical compound in that. That’s just amazing.
As much as I know that I am part of this modern society and that there are things that I must do to survive, but I refuse to adopt the belief that we live to work. That my life is gonna be about competing with people, to collect achievements. I have no materialistic goals. I don’t aspire to be filthy rich, I only want enough. Not so much about having enough to buy luxury stuff, it’s more to afford experiences. Most of all, I want to be at peace. I want to have peace within me.
I’m still learning, I’m still exploring. And I’m hoping to have conversation with likeminded people, I’d like to broadened my perspective, I think life is interesting and there are a lot of life to explore.
Come Inside My Head 